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DOCTORS AND LAWYERS ARE BAD
DRIVERS
By Chuck Wells
We have all read that the
really bad drivers, those having the most accidents, are young
people and the elderly. The young drivers are inexperienced and
a little flaky so they do stupid things (drive too fast for road
conditions, show off, do their makeup while driving, eat a
burger, shake, and fries while cruising, etc.). And the elderly
pull out in front of people because they can’t see, hit parked
cars, and go up one way streets causing accidents. It’s not a
condemnation of these groups, but a matter of fact based upon
the statistics.
But do certain professions show an increased incidence of car
accidents? According to the Quality Planning Corp., your job can
make a difference as to your likelihood of having accidents.
Here are the results:
WORST DRIVERS:
#1: Student
#2: Medical doctor
#3: Attorney
#4: Architect
#5: Real estate broker
BEST DRIVERS:
#1: Homemaker
#2: Politician
#3: Pilot
#4: Fireman
#5: Farmer
So why do the worst drivers get all those accidents? Students
are usually young and inexperienced so it is understandable that
they have more accidents. Lawyers and doctors do a lot of
commuting, talk a lot on the cell phone as they drive, try to
multi-task as they drive, and have a lot of pressure to be
places on time.
I don’t know why architects are poor drivers unless they are
thinking how to analyze every minute detail of everything while
driving.
Of course, real estate sales people are on the road constantly
(and they like to talk with their hands) so would naturally have
more likelihood of having an accident.
Insurance companies do not use your profession to determine your
auto premium. Yet.
IS IT CLAM CHOWDER?
Don Johnson sued a West Palm Beach restaurant for $55,000. It
seems he thought the clam chowder was potato soup and the
restaurant should have told him that. He said the chowder left
him with nightmares. The court gave him $407 in damages.
LAWSUIT DOWN THE TOILET?
William Tremmel decided to use a portable toilet that was set up
for workers only at a construction site on the boardwalk at
Virginia Beach. The workers were fed up with people using their
toilet without permission so they locked Tremmel in that Johnny
for 25 minutes. Tremmel is now suing the construction outfit for
$100,000 for “mental suffering” even though he was not supposed
to use the toilet. No word as to whether or not the judge will
award money for this crap lawsuit.
THE EMPTY MUSEUM
Ilya and Emilia Kabakov set up an art exhibit in New York City
that consisted of only four walls with nothing on them. That’s
right, bare walls. And people are paying to see this exhibit of
bare walls. “The blank walls and spotlights suggest the cruel
Minimalist reduction and dematerialization of art.” These people
are probably also campaigning for John Kerry so they can get
some more government handouts for “art.”
ANOTHER MCDONALD’S LAWSUIT?
This little story is for all my friends at the McDonald’s in
Macedon who taunt and harass me when I come in there for lunch.
A 46-year-old woman is in critical condition after dropping a
coin while at the drive-thru in Virginia. When she opened her
door to reach down and pick up the coin, she took her foot off
the brake and inched forward trapping her head in the open door
which lodged against a post. Ouch! She probably should have
asked for the supersize. P.S. Some of the fast food restaurants
are no longer going to offer supersized meals because we are
getting too fat and dumb. After all, we don’t know enough to
control our own eating so someone else must be responsible. I
wonder if we will be able to order two hamburgers at the same
time if we are alone?
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